How to empower your own life and make a difference

By |Published On: November 17th, 2016|

or WHAT KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGHT

It’s 4 am in the morning and lie wide awake in the middle of the bed, while my husband sleeps soundly on my side.

I keep tracking in my mind what I have on my list for tomorrow: make breakfast, call the doctor to schedule an appointment to check my son’s hearing, meet my girls for an editorial at 9am, then buy pampers for the kids, cucumber, chicken and avocado, go back home, do a little work out, then join my little girl at the Spielgruppe for a lantern workshop; later rush to meet a client, 5:30 hop on the train to Lucerne for a Styling Event and hopefully when I make it home at 10pm I should send those two emails to check with the venue and the sponsor of our next event at the end of this month.

Remind me again, why did I start doing this? To empower women? Or perhaps I wanted to empower myself, get out there, out of my track suit and slippers, wear high heels, dress up and stand in front of the camera every day smiling and jolly, become famous? ….Ha, ha! Not really. The real reason is that I got scared when my husband was taken to hospital a couple of years ago and I realised what pressure he was under; to deliver for his family, to stand up to our standards and our expectations, to give us the life he, we were dreaming of. God knows how many husbands are out there just like him? Living with such responsibility every day, returning home to an emotional woman who cries every time her children spill the nailpolish on the beautiful Italian parquet? Or just because she had a melt down?

Well I didn’t want my husband to live like that because I knew eventually he would crack, because I knew we will all end up unhappy and I wanted to share his burden, I wanted my kids to see an empowered, inspired mum, not someone who’s complaining and nagging all the time, or worse, feels sorry for herself and is angry at her life. I wanted to become my kids role model, not the perfect mum who has it all figured out for them, but the one who is trying to figure it out for herself and is not afraid to get out there and make mistakes, be judged and criticized (no matter how painful that feels). This is why I started this. And today, one year and two months after my first post/film for Mums in Heels I feel proud and completely fulfilled…Errr, ok not quite. BUT I am at least striving towards something that feels like fulfillment. And of course it leaves me with too much on my plate; I have a lot of those sleepless nights when I send my last email at 1am and the first one the next morning is at 5am. I still feel that I don’t see my kids enough and I am not making enogh money. Not to mention that my writing sometimes can’t break through the first sentence and I get so much criticism for it. But damn it if it isn’t nice to put some bloody meaning into what what I do…and yes I admit it: it brings me utter joy and fulfilment every day to be creative and make a difference into other people’s lives.

So I remember asking all these women I admire: “What keeps you awake during the night” and I know it`s all kinds of things, for me perhaps more than ever it is striving for a better version of everything I do, every day, and perhaps finally feel that people start understanding that behind every amazing and fabulous woman stands a ……loooot of work! And determination!

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About the Author: Tsitaliya Mircheva

Tsitaliya is a writer and fashion journalist for more than 20 years. She founded Mums in Heels 10 years ago and keeps growing and evolving together with her community or fashionable mums and responsible consumers. Fashion and Wellness are her most favourite topics to write about.