How often to do you get an opportunity to step back and reflect on your journey? A couple of weeks ago a dear friend of mine asked me to be on her podcast Mompreneur on a Mission, and sent me several questions to think through in advance. While preparing for the interview I felt like I was tracing the history of my personal evolution ever since I became a mum and started my own business, recalling turning points and epiphanies. The process was powerful and had a huge impact on me. The timing was perfect – I have been going through a creative burnout and I’ve been feeling scattered and unsettled. This exercise re-centred me and reminded me of where I started, where I am going and what my purpose is.
In the spirit of sharing lessons learned, I’m now posting one of the most important things I’ve learned from my journey as a “mumpreneur”, which is also very much related to my brand’s purpose and WHY I started my business: Cultivation of Self-love.
Entrepreneurship can be a lonely job and you are often faced with no one you can talk to about what you are doing right or wrong. So before you build your own team and trustworthy girl-gang, you may feel pretty exposed and vulnerable to the public eye, full of doubts and insecurities when you take decisions. That’s when your inner critic steps in and takes charge, threatening to destroy everything valuable you have been creating.
Looking back, the more I’ve been working on my business, the better I’ve become at recognizing my “anti-self” and getting to know that maniac I am locked in with for life. The shift wasn’t sudden, but rather gradual. I started paying attention to what the voice in my head was saying, how it changed its opinion all the time, how it never stopped talking …even when I was trying not to think and be quiet:
You’ll never get everything done. No one even notices you. You should just give up.
He doesn’t really love you. No one could care about you. You see I told you he wouldn’t call. It will never last anyway. Just don’t be vulnerable.
So I asked myself how is it possible that a voice that is constantly changing its opinion and I continue to trust it? If that voice was a person would I even allow it to be my friend or be anywhere near me?
Of course not!
So one day I dared to ask my friends whether they had that same experience too? I remember Anna saying: No, I don’t have that. You can imagine my reaction…I was suddenly panicking about my mental heath, when an hour later she called and said: What was I thinking? Of course I have that voice, that crazy weirdo who doesn’t stop talking…I took a breath of relief. And I thought of Wayne Dyre too, who once said: You can’t give what you don’t have.
If women are talking that way to ourselves, unable to accept and love who we are, what can we expect from our relations with others? What might happen if we could accept ourselves, stop bickering and instead of competing we collaborate with each other from a place of self-respect and self-love?
That is how I found the true purpose of my business, almost two years after I started it. And today I am asking three women whom I deeply admire for the way they do the inner work and empower other human beings:
How can we cultivate and practice self-love? Before I give you their answers I want to share with you my humble experience:
- Every day I try to be aware of my thoughts and the way I talk to myself.
- I try to slow down my momentum
- I try to forgive myself for everything I feel and experience and not judge myself how I should be
- Lately I have been doing a judgement detox
What else? Here is what others are saying about self-love:
“The practice of Self-Love isn’t just about attending a yoga class, or taking some time out to read a book, it is learning when to say no, and understanding what our boundaries are. When we don’t know what our boundaries are our energy can be depleted. This can be a continuous cycle if we do not take the time to stop, pause, and make a conscious choice to define our boundaries. We should take the time to observe what depletes our energy; it could be a negative thought pattern, a relationship or even a toxic work environment.
Take note daily on how your environment affects your energy. If something is draining you, learn where you can change your experience. For example; understand how much you can give in a relationship, take short breaks as part of your daily routine, and observe when you have a negative thought, reminding yourself that these thoughts are harmful to you.
Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend with unconditional love and compassion”. Michaela Diamanti is an international yoga teacher who has been exploring the practice for over 12 years. She loves to share her passion of yoga and sound healing as tools for self-exploration, connection and wellbeing. She holds both group and private yoga and meditation classes in English across Zug. She also offers one-on-one sessions in yoga and sound healing for a more personalised experience
“Attention is love! Self-love is the inward attention, the discovery of being worthy and actually complete. You start acting from a place of “I have a lot to offer”, instead of “I am not enough”. Love has tremendous power of healing and transformation. Self-love makes us radiant and powerful. It puts us upright and goes hand in hand with dignity. Self-love is not conditional or linked to material belongings or success; it is the acknowledgement of our own light”. Gisela Rocha is a body performance and expressivity artist who helps people start a personal Journey of Body Awareness, Mindfulness and Expressivity. Through specific techniques and methods of body movement, Gisela, who is a choreographer and a professional performer, helps you find your unique way of expressing your emotions and mind and living a life of full embodiment.
“Loving yourself isn’t just about writing down affirmations on your mirror, meditating once a day or being your own best friend.
There is so much more to ‘self-love’ than this.
First of all, let me clear something up. Self-love and putting yourself #1 is NOT selfish!
In fact it’s better for everyone in your life if you love yourself.
“You simply can’t fill up someone else’s cup if yours is empty.”
I have also realised that self-love stems from a total and utter self-acceptance.
Because when we surrender to our wholeness of light and dark, that’s when we radiate love, fullness and our truth.
We are whole and we are enough!
And besides, how much sexier is a woman who owns ALL of who she is?
Tapping into our own power and embodying our full potential is a lifetime practice and I have witnessed within myself,
the more I learn through my body instead of through my mind, the more I tap into my feminine flow and inner wisdom.
I love to offer my clients slightly unique ways to connect with body, mind and heart.
Take what resonates and leave the rest.” Angela Ramel is an International Holistic Empowerment Coach & Mentor for Women. She loves to educate and empower with her passion for merging sensuality, love and spirituality. She started her Yoga, Tantra and self-healing path as a teenager and offers personal & online one-on-one Goddess Mastery Programs. She also offers retreats teaching and training women in feminine embodiment, to being in their Goddess power. Her programs are designed for women who desire to get out of their head and into their bodies, reconnecting with the most sensual and magnetic selves to feel free and alive.