The conversations we have with our daughters

By |Published On: May 13th, 2016|

Intro by: Tsitaliya Mircheva
Story by: Andaleeb Lilley

You know the moment when your daughter slips into your high heels and starts click-clack-ing down the corridor, posing in front of the mirror to decide if the shoes match the colour of her dress. I wonder of this is the moment when we start teaching our daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings? I wonder whether we should throw the fairy tales with sleeping beauties and princes who save them on white horses, out the window?

I honestly don’t know but this made me think how important every single conversation is that we have with our daughters, and how it affects the way they think about the world and their own success, happiness and fulfilment. We don’t want to have serious conversations with our girls at the age of five, but we want to create an environment for them where they never experience guilt or frustration when someone doesn’t like them the way they are. We don’t want to see them desperately trying to change for someone else and trying to please everybody but themselves. We don’t want them to be like us. I guess this is how and why we change as well after we become mothers. We want to teach our daughters a different view….

Mums in Heels decided to take a closer look at the way we talk to our daughters and what they are really asking us. The stories sometimes seem and sound so innocent, they are fun and make us laugh, but there is a startling truth somewhere hidden between the lines.

The first story is contributed by one of our Mums in Heels, an amazing photographer and a fabulous girl with great sense of humour.

My daughter (D) is lying in bed when I (M for Mum) enter her room:

D:“Hah – I knew it!”

M: “Knew what?”

D: “That there is no tooth fairy – look, look! I told Götti that I was going to do a test – I was going to wait a few days and put my tooth under my pillow before my birthday last night and see, see! No money”.

M: Thinking quickly .. “Maybe the tooth fairy was busy and couldn’t … “

D: “No mummy – there is no tooth fairy – you are the tooth fairy – just like the Easter bunny – it’s the Easter Mummy”.

M: Silence (busted…).

D: “I want all the notes I gave her back  – the notes you have and all my teeth, give them to me!”

M: “Ok … then I want all the money back too.”

Mum and Daughter: Silence. One contemplates the ending of (another) era. The other wonders if she has enough pocket money to pay back her mum.

That day my girl turned 10.

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About the Author: Tsitaliya Mircheva

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Tsitaliya is a writer and fashion journalist for more than 20 years. She founded Mums in Heels 10 years ago and keeps growing and evolving together with her community or fashionable mums and responsible consumers. Fashion and Wellness are her most favourite topics to write about.