Frag Frau Freitag (The Agony Aunt)

There is no chance to miss that alabaster skin, accentuated with luscious red lips and red locks in the crowd of pretty women. Kafi Freitag fascinates with her unusual girlish vibrant charm and tangible self-containment. She is definitely not cold or unfriendly, but she is also not the type to shower you with compliments and chit-chat on the latest luxurious rosehip oil. Kafi Freitag appears so self-assured and unperturbed by what impression she might or might not be giving, that you can’t help but almost nervously ask her what she may be thinking of your personality.

After meeting her at Modissa Zurich, at the official launch of her first book, I immediately got on her blog “Frag Frau Freitag” and despite that reading German is not my most beloved entertainment for any of my precious family evenings, I just couldn’t stop turning the pages laughing out loud on the train back home, getting some confused stares from people around me.

In brief Kafi Freitag is the mother of a twelve year old boy, happily divorced (twice…wholly s* when did she have time for it), with absolutely no financial education in a bank city. She is also a coach who helps people through the methods of hypnosis, NLP and WingWave to process painful past events, feeling stuck in old conflicts and looking for ways to improve creativity, becoming more resistant, emotionally stable and balanced. It sounds like she has the answers to all our modern “illnesses” and perhaps she does…I am absolutely fascinated by the way she handles challenging topics (such as my parents are divorcing, I don’t know with whom to stay because I don’t want to hurt them both or why is it that difficult to find a comfortable and at the same time good looking bra in the normal price-range) with her sudden unruffled sense of humour and yet with a compassionate grasp and tender care that only your closest ones may have for you.

Without further ado I am thrilled to present Kafi to you today, because she is almost everything I admire in a writer, a mother and a 39 years old woman:

Tsitaliya: You are well known in Switzerland as the agony aunt. What do you like and don’t like about that definition?
Kafi: I like the idea. Despite—or perhaps because of—how quirky it sounds. It does show that one can trust me like I am a family. And aunts can also be a little eccentric, don’t they? Aunts are always loved, because they don’t need to fit into any category. This is great!

Tsitaliya: How did you become a coach, when did you decide to study NLP, EFT and the other methods you use in your work?
Kafi: All of my jobs have ultimately led me to where I am today. Contact with people has always been essential to me and I can finally practice it fully in my job as a coach. I have been running my private coaching practice for 4 years now, while the group practice PraxisChreis1 is about to celebrate its first anniversary!

Tsitaliya: What questions do you find the hardest in your blog?
Kafi: There are some issues to which there are simply no answers. Or issues that have very far-reaching ramifications. These are very demanding and require all my empathy. Such as an abortion, or the loss of a loved one, an untimely death. In many of these cases, I can only offer consolation in lieu of a real answer. But often that is exactly what is needed. A listening ear.

Tsitaliya: Do you believe that every person has certain blockages and limiting beliefs that stop us from becoming the person we want to be. What can we do to start setting our consciousness (mind and heart) free? Does everyone nowadays need a psychoterapie?
Kafi:  Everyone grows up with certain beliefs. Some are empowering, others less so. Until now, I have not met a single person who did not carry limiting beliefs within. It is important to realize that these beliefs are not our own, but have mostly been inherited and acquired from other people. Self-reflection can help a lot, but sometimes it also takes a few coaching sessions. This topic is the content of a seminar given by my business partner Sara Satir and me. We founded the company Tribute to explore such women’s issues at seminars. Does everyone need coaching? Why, absolutely! Joking aside, coaching is useful when the quality of someone’s life is suffering.

Tsitaliya: How would you define your style and attitude to fashion?
Kafi: My style is independent of any fashion trend. I wear what I like. I am fearless and nonconformist. Fashion does not interest me all that much, but clothes can be an expression of one’s personality.

Tsitaliya: Do you have a signature look and what is it?
Kafi: My Adidas sneakers are an important identity mark, as is my red hair, of course.

Tsitaliya: Do you wear heels often and do they make you feel different?
Kafi: High heels are wonderful. They give a woman great poise! But when giving seminars, I need the stable footing that a flat shoe offers. If I want to fully feel my femininity, I wear high heels. But salary negotiations always take place on a flat foundation!

Tsitaliya: Where in Zurich do you like to shop most often?
Kafi: I live and love to stroll around in District 4. It has wonderful cafes and great boutiques. When I am on the Bahnhofstrasse, the Boutique Maude and Modissa are my favorite destinations—great brands, great atmosphere!

Tsitaliya: What fashion related questions you get to answer most of the time?
Kafi: Can I do this? Can I do that? Can I, being a not-so-slender woman, wear a miniskirt? My answer is always: This is your life! You can do anything you want!

Tsitaliya: Thank you