Follow your dreams – a cliché or madness?

We recently were discussing at Mums in Heels what exactly Iconic Living means. I remember suggesting that following your dreams surely is part of the iconic living. Tsitaliya then huffed and said “but isn’t living your dream become one of the biggest cliché of our times?”

I was rather taken aback. Since when did this happen? I would find it hard to mention more than maybe two women who I believe have truly followed their dreams. Imagine getting up every day, (tired because you know, life with kids) and your hard work went towards your own, original dream. That sounds amazing does it not? So why don’t we all “follow our dream”, if it´s such a cliche?

I´d say there are several reasons, of course, why people don´t follow their dreams. Firstly you need to drown out all the other noise and find that one thing that really, truly is your dream, your passion. And you need to own it. You need to focus on it. You need to love and breathe it. It needs to mean so much to you that you are willing to sacrifice (almost) all else. Also, it is Damn. Hard. Work.

“I truly believe that if you are not passionate about something you probably won’t succeed at it because you won’t be driven to get up every day and work hard”, Rachel Zoe, the famous fashion stylist and truly inspiring mom says about her life and work.

Let´s start with the (small) issue of money. Most people who follow their dreams are not in a financial position to just give up their day job and go pursue! This means working at your dream, your business, when the rest of the family is asleep. You will be judged. If you are a woman and if you have children, you will definitely be judged.

If your dream is to stay at home and look after your family you will be judged because you are wasting your potential and relying on your man and what are you supposed to do when the children go to school…Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard women say apologetically “I am just a mum”?

And if your dream is to set up your own business you will (at least momentarily) have people giggling behind your back, because who do you think you are setting up your own business? And if you have children you will feel like a bad mother because you will need to hand over the childcare to someone else whilst you go to business meetings etc. Did you know that Tsitaliya sends her children to the grandparents in another country for two months over the school holidays in order to focus solely on Mums in Heels? You think she feels guilty? You´re damn right she feels guilty, but she also feels focussed and determined to achieve her goals. Is the dream worth the sacrifice? Or would the alternative, being a stay at home mum, be a bigger sacrifice for her? Would she sacrifice the notion of “her”?

So no dear friend, I do not think following your dream is a cliche. At all.

In order to go through these obstacles, you need to be one tough cookie. Which is why sometimes mum entrepreneurs are often seen as slightly cold and aloof. Trust me, they would love to stop and talk but they simply do not have the time for chit-chat!

There are of course loads and loads of examples of women, mothers, who have pursued their dreams and I salute every single one of them. We all need to salute our mum entrepreneur friends a bit more, they need it. Even better, salute them and start on your own dream. And when you worry about what other people might think, listen to one of my personal lady favourites Victoria Beckham:

“For a long time there I was a bit of a laughing-stock. And while everybody was busy laughing, what was I doing? I was laying the foundation to what I have in place now.”

Word sista!

And as so often before Oprah nails it:

“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be. I believe you can only do this when you stop long enough to hear the whisper you might have drowned out, that small voice compelling you toward the kind of work you’d be willing to do even if you weren’t paid. Once you tune out the noise of your life and hear that call, you face the biggest challenge of all: to find the courage to seek out your big dream, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.”

– Oprah

So next time you think someone who is following their dream is simultaneously living their dream, think again. And although the phrase itself may be overused, the work behind it sure is not.