It was one of those things that used to drive me crazy before I had my kids; people who would nod their heads with sympathy to my blissful unawareness about how life was about to abruptly change upon baby’s entrance into the world detached from thy womb. Imagine their smug faces looking at me, head to toe staring first at my fashionable high heels and then their eyes moving all the way up to my freshly coiffed hair and chunky jewelry.
Ok I get it! Yes, life changes with motherhood, your lifestyle and daily rhythm suddenly go upside down, but somehow I refuse to believe that motherhood can change the deep core of me … forever. It can grow me but it can’t change ME. Besides the added responsibility and the realization that your body is amazing and can take all kinds of stress and levels of exhaustion I am not sure what else changed about me…they say you grow wiser, but I think that happens with everyone with or without the kids, as you age and experience different seasons of life.
There is one other thing that happens after the birth: you kind of lose your routine and flow, which can make you question WHO you are and go on an exploration of redefinition. You are forced to reprioritize. This time you feel different about it, you take yourself seriously, and want to really own and live your life. Maybe because now you have the responsibility to be your kid’s role model!
I remember after the birth my brain was like a big lump of mashed potatoes and the only way I could remember I still am the same person was when I dressed myself the way I used to. I wanted to remind myself and the rest of the world I am the same woman as before and my prior clothes showed WHO I was and am, despite my environment having changed to playgrounds and the likelihood of spills having increased several fold.
If I am completely honest I could not keep up everyday with my previous style. No way. But I vowed to myself at least two times a week, I would be HER again. I kept reminding myself and those around me about the real me through my wardrobe.
So what changes in your style when the baby finally arrives? And what does mom style mean? There is certainly a phase where you feel kind of mumsy and that reflects in your style, because there is so much clutter in your life with kids and family and you naturally crave simplicity and minimalism or at least not to care bout what to wear. But the good news is that after the mumsy phase comes a period when you want to break free again and it is a very flamboyant, expressive phase with more is more type of look.
This is a style period somewhere between comfort, “je ne sais quoi” and new experiences (experimenting with new fabrics, new patterns and looks). This phase is sort of a re-invention phase, when you re-emerge on the social scene and you’ve learned new things, gained new experiences and more confidence which you want to show and share. That of course effects your image and what you wear….
Let me ask you: what would you wear in times of newly gained freedom, after your kids have become a little more independent and you can put on your white jeans again and actually zip them without injury, maybe even wear a dangling pair of earrings, swap your trainers with a pair of mid heel sandals?
Here’s what I suggest:
1. Gingham is packed with nostalgia, but the designers this year have come up with some seriously cool and contrasting hues from classic black and red to forest green and pink. Gingham suddenly is not only meant for the countryside. Plus the flattering asymmetric forms, the cascading ruffles, and the new styles such as a bodice, shirtdresses and maxi skirts have added to the classic pattern a sassy vibe.
2. Silky pajama pants. I’ve always had a thing about the pajama style but even when I am not up to wearing the full look, I would wear the roomy and super comfortable silk pant. Firstly you hardly can notice any spot on the pants and secondly they are so airy, easy flowing and chic that I really feel like I am in my second skin. Plus they always fit me and look good elongating my silhouette and giving it a more elegant presence. These are my favorite. I found them in a vintage shop in Paris and now wear them almost ever other day.
3. Now I’ve kept the best for the last. This particular summer the two pieces I’ve been wearing the most are this pair of breezy hems white jeans and the lace bralette. For some reason the masculine-feminine juxtaposition of this look feels so right for the stage of life I am at (trying to go as minimalistic as possible). Plus it’s exciting to be able to wear a cropped top after three pregnancies, yet not completely disclosing my midriff with the high waist of these chic white jeans. I like the look because it is classy, basic and effortless. I always tell my friends to choose a favorite look every season. It is something they rely on for almost any occasion or mood they are in.
The important part of the journey back to your clothes is to remember it is just that, a journey. Clothes can be an expression of ourselves and our moods. Or even bolder statements – insert lady Gaga when she wore meat. They can be simple, fancy, colorful, neutral, bold, vibrant, whimsical, you name it. Allow yourself to experience the variety, embrace the ability to be bold, and become a walking confidence piece of mom art that turns heads because you can. Because you are beautiful. Because you are doing good work.
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Tsitaliya is a writer and fashion journalist for more than 20 years. She founded Mums in Heels 10 years ago and keeps growing and evolving together with her community or fashionable mums and responsible consumers. Fashion and Wellness are her most favourite topics to write about.